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Financial favouritism can fuel adult sibling resentment and disputes
Experts cited by the BBC say clear communication about reasons for different support can help curb misunderstanding, which can otherwise linger into adulthood and even lead to legal action after a parent dies.
The BBC Business reports that so-called financial favouritism between siblings can trigger jealousy and resentment that persists long into adulthood, and in some cases can contribute to legal disputes after a parent dies. It highlights how disagreements over parental help, including support during a lifetime and how inheritance is divided, are common flashpoints on forums like Mumsnet and Reddit.
In one example, a 47-year-old man, whose real name is withheld, says his parents refused to lend him £10,000 for a house deposit after he broke up with his partner. He said his younger brother had previously received a home deposit and subsidies for living expenses, while he felt he had been expected to rely on himself financially.
Counselling experts tell the BBC that sibling disputes about money are often not only about the money itself, and that even when parents have practical reasons to support children differently, failing to explain those reasons clearly can leave room for misunderstanding and resentment. Reasons mentioned include that one adult child may earn significantly less, has an illness, or faces higher costs to get onto the housing ladder due to rising prices.
The BBC also includes guidance from Relate counsellor Dr Fenia Christodoulidi, who says open conversations about expectations and the reasons behind decisions can reduce feelings of resentment, particularly when support levels vary. The report underscores that communication is often the difference between conflict and understanding, according to the people interviewed.